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	 <H2 ALIGN="CENTER">Book Reviews: Children and the Subject of Death</H2>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1"><B>Reviewed by Heather
		McDonald</B></FONT></P>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">For a change, I decided to offer book
		reviews on topics not related to China or Chinese culture. The topic I have
		chosen, however, is important to many parents who are raising young children,
		as are many FCC parents.</FONT></P>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">When a child is still an infant, his or her
		innocence is precious. A baby or a toddler doesn't need to worry about death,
		or the problem of evil, bullying, or the intricacies of the human reproduction
		cycle. But children grow up. They lose their innocence,and then their parents
		are faced with the necessity and challenge of teaching them about difficult
		issues.</FONT></P>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">Recently I began to think about how I would
		explain the concept of death to my five year old daughter. The reality of
		little schoolfriends who are seriously ill, aging grandparents and other close
		relatives, and even the prospect of one day losing our pets all seemed to bring
		the issue of death closer. Although our daughter attends Sunday school, I
		didn't want to leave such an important topic to others to teach to her. So I
		made my way to "Kids Books" [3083 West Broadway, Vancouver; Phone (604) 738-
		5335] hoping to find help there. Sure enough, the store had a large selection
		of books, such as books for adults explaining how to deal with a child's grief
		and how to explain death to a child, as well as books for children on the same
		topics. There are books for parents who prefer a religious orientation, to
		those who prefer a secular orientation on the topic. </FONT></P>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">Here are five books for children that you
		may find interesting:</FONT></P>
	 <H3>"Nona Upstairs, Nona Downstairs", written and illusrated by Tomie de
		Paola</H3>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">Tomie de Paola is a well-known author and
		illustrator of children's books. He grew up in a happy Irish/Italian household,
		and many of his books describe family events and how they affected him as a
		little boy. </FONT></P>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">This book is about Tomie's memories of his
		paternal grandmother and great-grandmother, who lived together in the same
		house. His grandmother lived in the downstairs portion of the house (to Tomie,
		she was "Nona Downstairs") and his great-grandmother (her mother) lived
		upstairs (thus to Tomie, she was "Nona Upstairs"). Tomie loved them both, and
		the book describes his close relationship with them. Nona Upstairs was in her
		90's, and one day, of course, she died. The story relates Tomie's feelings, the
		reaction of his family, and one day, his reaction as an adult when his
		grandmother, Nona Downstairs, also dies. </FONT></P>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">This book is a gentle look at family life
		and the inevitable changes in a family that the deaths of loved ones bring
		about.</FONT></P>
	 <H3>"Cat Heaven", written and illustrated by Cynthia Ryland</H3>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">We have two cats, and this book has been a
		big hit in our family. Cat Heaven is pretty darn nice, with "soft angel laps
		where kitties can purr loud and strong" and angels that "rub kitties' noses and
		ears and sing them a Cat Heaven song". God is a fabulous guy who has a kitchen
		counter covered with white kitty dishes full of tuna and salmon and "little
		pink fishes". You get the idea. </FONT></P>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">The poetry is friendly, the illustrations
		are colourful and fun. Our daughter is enthralled with this book and asks to
		hear it again and again. After the first time I read it to her, she looked up
		at me with shining eyes and asked "What's child heaven like?" </FONT></P>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">For dog lovers, I understand that the same
		author has a book called "Dog Heaven" for children, and that Dog Heaven is a
		great place, too.</FONT></P>
	 <H3>"Badger's Parting Gifts", written and illustrated by Susan Varley</H3>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">This is a lovely little story about an
		elderly badger who dies, and his animal friends who mourn him. They remember
		the special things he taught each of them, as gifts from him that they could
		use to continue to help each other. Their grief and memories occur over winter,
		and as the last of the snow melts, so does the animals' great sadness. Whenever
		Badger's name is mentioned, they now can smile and share a happy story about
		him with each other. Finally, one of the little animals remembers to thank
		Badger for his parting gifts, and he has the special feeling that Badger
		indeed, somewhere, does hear him. </FONT></P>
	 <H3>"Ghost Wings", written by Barbara M. Joosse; illustrated by Giselle
		Potter</H3>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">This book is set in Mexico, in the context
		of the monarch butterflies' annual migration and the Mexican festival of the
		"Days of the Dead". It is the story of a little girl whose best friend is her
		grandmother, who sings to her, makes tortillas with her, and chases night
		monsters away. One day, the grandmother dies, and the little girl feels that
		she is impossibly far away. </FONT></P>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">In Mexico, during the festival the "Days of
		the Dead", people have a time of celebration and remembering of departed loved
		ones. At the cemetery, friends and neighbours clean up the graves, have a
		picnic, sing the favorite songs of the deceased. The little girl remembers that
		her grandmother was brave, a wonderful cook who chased monsters with her broom,
		and the one who took her to see the magical migration of the monarch
		butterflies. The little girl begins to understand that when you love someone,
		they never really leave you.</FONT></P>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">A discussion guide is included at the back
		of this book. This book is especially appropriate for families with a Catholic
		tradition, although its message about the endurance of love and memory would
		make it a special story for anyone.</FONT></P>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">My father died when my daughter was only a
		year old. We visit his grave several times a year, and she understands that he
		is dead. After reading my daughter this story, she said to me, "Tell me what
		Grandpa Hugh liked to do". I realized that I had never really told her about my
		father and my special memories of him. So I began to tell her a few things,
		such as the fact that the special song I sing to her, was the first one he ever
		taught me. The second thing she said was: "The next time we visit Grandpa Hugh
		at the cemetery, we'll have to sing his special song for him". For me, this
		book was a natural way to open up a dialogue between me and my daughter about
		the grandfather she never really knew.</FONT></P>
	 <H3>"What's Heaven?" written by Maria Shriver; illustrated by Sandra
		Speidel</H3>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">This is the story of Kate, a little girl
		whose great-grandmother has died. The questions she ask in the book are
		apparently the same questions that the author's children, nieces and nephews
		asked when the author's grandmother, Rose Kennedy, passed away. </FONT></P>
	 <P><FONT FACE="Arial" SIZE="-1">The illustrations are beautiful, and the
		book is a sensitive treatment of difficult emotional material. However, I would
		recommend it only for the very traditional Christian family, as some of the
		"answers" in the book are geared towards a very traditional, old-fashioned view
		of "heaven". </FONT></P>
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		SIZE="-2"><B>Last Updated: November 25th, 2001</B></FONT> </FONT>
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